Saturday, August 24, 2013


"Look at the birds in the sky; they do not sow or reap, they gather nothing into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are not you more important than they?" Matthew 6:26
How I wish a was a bird..........
"Can any of you by worrying add a single moment to your life-span?" Matthew 6:27
the lake with the birds
If only we can live a simple life like the birds in the sky.....
Extreme Loneliness
 In my younger days, I was exactly living to live a good life that the world can give. I never thought then that everything was really all coming from God. That everything in this world is given freely and with purpose. Everything we gain from our labor is to be used for the good of our neighbors and our family. This is what God wants us to do but I never thought of that. 

He also gave us the free will to choose between right and wrong, between heaven and hell, between Him and the Devil, between living a pious life and a hell of a life, between enjoying worldly life now and enjoying an eternal life of joy in heaven, between destroying a brother and helping him thru all his woes in life, between sowing good seeds and spreading weeds among our brothers, between marrying our own and coveting somebody else' wife, to earn our keeps and steal from others... and many more. Did anyone place God above all things so everything will follow? Maybe I did in some ways, perhaps not or I didn't bother to think about it that I have to do it.

Life was just so wonderful
Backed in the mid-1980's people around me were surprised and branded me crazy for resigning from my job the kind where anyone in the industry would like to be. But I did not tell them that I have been longing for Jesus so much for awhile already that sometime in my solitude tears would streamed down in my loneliness. I was ready to give up the lifestyle and the opportunity that life can give - and I did - not knowing what will happen next.

"I DID IT MY WAY"Sometime in 1985,
I suddenly resigned from my relatively 
lucrative position. Money was not 
an issue to me and for my family
From up... down we went financially. Car and everything gone like the wind.

I wanted to be away from the limelight or whatever sinful life I was in. And my wife understood me when I explained to her why. I wanted a life that is purely simple. 

 I know I had to carry 
my cross to follow HIM

In early 1985 I started to feel very lonely and I didn't understand why... that was when I realized I was lonely for Jesus. So I seeked to find Him by attending first in the Baptist Church and later wandered around with other non-Catholic denominations. Where ever and whenever there was a prayer rally, I would be there. And I would be temporarily happy listening to the words of God. However, right after the pastor or ministro stopped delivering the messages from God, my heart would be just as empty once more. There were nothing wrong with the preachers as they are so eloquent and delivered gospels that touched my heart so often yet I could not understand then what was happening to me. Tears would stream down my checks as I listened to them and yet I kept searching and couldn't find the answer to my deep loneliness for Jesus.

Catholic by Birth
My wife and I were born and baptized as Catholics, both raised as Catholics and both studied in Catholic Institutions. But I wandered away. I was living a sinful life due to the industry I was in..... though since I got married I never knew any woman but my wife up to this writing. 

Your Will Be Done Not Mine
Then on Oct 27, 1992 my wife called me up from Manila telling me that she finally found what I have been looking for all those years. I asked her only two questions but the one I emphasized most was this - "Is it Catholic?"  When she said yes I told her to book a flight with our daughter and fly back to Los Angeles  as soon as possible. And in a week's time they arrived. 

 And within three months in mid of Jan 1993 I went to the same weekend retreat my wife had in Manila and she was right .... I have finally found what I have been searching for all those years. Finally happiness filled my heart everyday... All those years I didn't realize Jesus was always with me all the time in my heart. I was just searching literally not spiritually. 

I was always using my mind to rationalize everything but I missed the very simple formula I just learned from Jesus to use my heart if I want to love, understand, feel God, be compassionate, be merciful, be happy... I was doing everything thru my mind... to see to believe not to believe in order to see.  I was interpreting everything about God as humanly as possible when I was supposed to understand the spiritual meaning of everything that God teaches us.  

One morning I was on my way to a friend while driving and about to turn into another street in La Mirada, California suddenly I literally heard a very soft but beautiful angelic voice saying to me these words  'be very very slow in thinking or doing bad things until you finally stop doing it...but be very fast in doing good'. I immediately replied 'yes my Lord'. I was not sure if it was my guardian angel or Jesus himself. And from then on that message became one of my spiritual guides in my daily life. 

Use your heart not your mind but open up your heart and your mind.

One time I went to watch a Lenten play 'Savior of The New City' with my whole family. I enjoyed the play immensely throughout the show. However, for some reason though I did not  grasp much or remember any of the dialogues except "Judas use your heart not your mind but open up your heart and your mind." I thought of the words I heard and remembered while driving on the way home. I didn't say anything to my wife about it as I have no clue yet why inspite of all the dialogues spoken during the play, I only understood those words and remembered them so clearly. Those words would continue to resonate with me up to these days. Jesus said those words to Judas while resting under a tree on their way to Jerusalem where Jesus was to be crucified in few days ahead. Those words also became part of my life.  

Judas Did Not Understand
When He Tried To Rationalize 
Judas was well educated compared to the rest of the Apostles. Yet each time Jesus teaches in Parable he cannot understand. He could only grasp the literal meaning of what Jesus were saying. He doesn't know how to feel and listen with his heart. All he can do was to rationalize everything thus he wasn't able to grasp the spiritual meaning of everything that Jesus was teaching. 

Before the retreat, I too would listen but follow only what I want... I was full of confidence -VANITY - I was doing it MY WAY. I was asking Jesus to come into my heart but I didn't realize and I couldn't see that my heart was closed and that I had him locked out. He wanted to let me know how much He love me but I wouldn't feel Him because I locked my heart on Him. 

Dream One day a friend of mine shared that he dreamed he saw saw Jesus walking around his house, just walking non-stop until he opened the door and asked Him why He was doing that. Jesus answered him: "I had always been knocking in your door but you were not bothering to open the door for me." Jesus came to save not to condemn sinners. He gave His life that we may be saved us from our sinfulness. He would always knock in our hearts. But it is up to everyone of us to open our hearts, welcome our savior and live the life He wants for us.   

Life under the grace of God Now after I found Him, life had change so beautifully. I was no longer aiming for the worldly things but more of spiritual for I am already aware that life could end anytime during the day or when I am asleep. My constant fear is the loss of heaven and the pains of hell if I die not under the grace of God. I am too careful now in not offending anyone for doing so I would be offending my God. There is joy always in my heart knowing that I could sleep soundly.

The celebration of the Holy Sacrament which Jesus instituted during the last supper had given a new meaning in my worship and adoration of Him. I now fully understand the whole meaning of the holy mass - the Catholic's way of worship of the Lord. I could feel the solemness of the mass and God's presence especially during the consecration of the Blessed Sacrament. The mass is the holy sacrifice - the event and life of our Lord Jesus Christ fully centered to him. Very solemn full of meditation and adoration.

I stopped listening from eloquent preaching that jumps from verses to verses too often from beginning of worship to end. I started to listen and meditate more on the spiritual meaning of Jesus' teachings and not from empty eloquence of pastors or ministers.

1 Corinthians Chapter 13:1-13       

The Triumph of the Blessed Sacrament Next >>
Charity is to be preferred before all gifts.
[1] If I speak with the tongues of men, and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal. [2] And if I should have prophecy and should know all mysteries, and all knowledge, and if I should have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing[3] And if I should distribute all my goods to feed the poor, and if I should deliver my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing[4] Charity is patient, is kind: charity envieth not, dealeth not perversely; is not puffed up; [5] Is not ambitious, seeketh not her own, is not provoked to anger, thinketh no evil;
[6] Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth with the truth; [7] Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. [8] Charity never falleth away: whether prophecies shall be made void, or tongues shall cease, or knowledge shall be destroyed. [9] For we know in part, and we prophesy in part. [10] But when that which is perfect is come, that which is in part shall be done away.
[11] When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child. But, when I became a man, I put away the things of a child. [12] We see now through a glass in a dark manner; but then face to face. Now I know in part; but then I shall know even as I am known. [13] And now there remain faith, hope, and charity, these three: but the greatest of these is charity.

When one throw stone at others - there is no charity.

When one speak ill and evil of others - there is no charity.
When one is rude at others - there is no charity.
When one forces his knowledge on others - there is no charity.
When one snares a trap and misled others - there is no charity.
When one insults others - there is no charity.
When one call others with names - there is no charity.
When one is full of vanity and pride - there is no charity.
When one distort the truth - there is no charity.
When one insist on his own belief to be accepted by others - there is no charity.
And when one denies Christ Divinity - there is no charity.

One of My Personal Experiences
It was Sunday morning and I was with my family attending mass (celebration of the Holy Eucharist) at St. Pancratius Church in Lakewood, California.

On the left side facing the altar is a small space with a door entrance facing towards the small altar on the left side of the main altar of the Church. On the right side of the main altar is a short corridor leading to another side entrance door and on the side of this corridors where small windows also facing towards the side of the main altar.

We would always sit somewhere up at the front left side facing the altar and I would always pray silently to Jesus but looking at his image a large statue of him at the left side of the altar. In the above picture you can see Jesus' statue at the upper far left hand side of the altar with a light coming from the ceiling downward lighting his whole image.

Now what I am about to share here is true and is not just a product of my imagination. 

The mass has already started and already at the Gospel reading portion. At this time while I was listening to the readings from the Holy Bible I was looking at Jesus's image to my left and suddenly the huge statue of Jesus was gone and I could literally and physically see the whole background of where the statue was standing just few seconds ago. I was ecstatic looking at the empty altar base then suddenly the door entrance near the empty altar base opened and I saw a lady came in. She was late. Then right after the door closed the image statue of Jesus was backed again standing once more at the smaller altar. 

His message to me was that he (Jesus) would open the church door for everyone anytime even when you are late for mass. To him no one is late. 

Where I sat with my family, Jesus face is directly looking at the spot where I was sitting. I would always chose that spot as much as I could with no one noticing even my family that I do this everytime. That was my favorite spot.  

Whether you believe my short experience with the image of Jesus or not it will not stop me for believing him that he would manifest to anyone who will deeply seek for him in any form and at any time for there is nothing impossible with God.

On the far right side of the altar was a large picture of 'The Mother of Perpetual Help'. During one Sunday mass, just as I usually looked at Jesus statue, I would also take a glance at Mother Mary's picture on the right side of the altar. Since it was daytime it was not necessary to turn on the church's lightings therefore the church was not that well lighted. Only the altar candles were providing light at the altar. And it was adequate enough. 

I prayed to her with reverence and thanked her while looking at her picture for being the Blessed Mother of our Lord Jesus and because without her there would have been no Jesus Incarnate and therefore there would have been no salvation for all mankind. And I also thanked her for all here intercessions. 

Then suddenly a bright sunlight came from the side window of the front right side entrance of the church slowly glowing towards her and lighted just her whole picture frame only. I immediately looked at the front side thinking someone was there and opened one of the window panes to increase the light inside the church. But no one was there and all the windows were closed which I can see from where we were seated at the front pews. Sunlight would normally comes from above going downward but this sunlight was solidly coming from the closed window which was parallel and since I was the only one who witnessed it, I considered it again as one of the many gifts the Blessed Mother has gifted me so far. It lasted for about a minute. I was awed as the sunlight withdraws with happiness and reverence for our Blessed Mother Mary, just as what Jesus did a week earlier, showed me as well that she also hears my prayers to her and not only mine but also from everyone elses.   

If you believe you will see. But if you want to see first in order to believe then it is not faith. It is like giving back only when you receive first. When you want to give, do it without condition with all your heart... this is when you will enjoy true happiness. It is in giving not in receiving that God sees your good works. 

It is in believing in Jesus first that he is God and you will put smile in his face not when you ask him 'show me proof first before I believe you are God'. 

My Daughter's Papa Jesus
When my daughter was about over one year old, she asked me who was in the picture and I told her he is 'Papa Jesus'. From that day onward she started calling the picture 'Papa Jesus'. She would always kneel in front of him at our home altar. We didn't ask her what to do. She would always do that on her own.

One time we were at a family blessing in one of our church gatherings during the Lenten Season, she suddenly shouted "mommy...mommy...papa Jesus" and pointing to someone we all know so well. She was then about two years old when she saw what she described as her 'Papa Jesus'. Only she saw the face of the living Jesus... a gift for her by our Lord Jesus.
No one can refute a child for they have the purest mind and heart. They see what we don't. 

These experiences were just the beginning of many more personal manifestations with our Lord Jesus. This is the gift he was giving me for believing in him first unconditionally.

 o 0 o 

After I found Jesus, my heart had always been at peace and open to anyone. I would walked along at Los Angeles skid row where the homeless people live in the streets of Los Angeles and I would feel compassion for them but there is really nothing I could do but offer prayers. There were times I would ride buses and found myself setting besides all sorts of people from bums to mentally imbalanced or drug users or offensive teens but still I feel very safe with them. When I did this, I knew these under-privileged people are the least of our brethrens that are also children of God.

If you have no chance yet of sowing good seeds 
at least don't sow weeds among your brothers.   

I Am My Lord's Silent Crusader

I always look forward not only to listen to Jesus' messages but also to partake in his glorious obedience
Luke 22:19 And taking bread, he gave thanks, and brake; and gave to them, saying: This is my body, which is given for you. Do this for a commemoration of me.

1 Corinthians 11:25 In like manner also the chalice, after he had supped, saying: This chalice is the new testament in my blood: this do ye, as often as you shall drink, for the commemoration of me.

First Epistle Of Saint Paul To The Corinthians. 
1 Corinthians 11:23-30
[23] For I have received of the Lord that which also I delivered unto you, that the Lord Jesus, the same night in which he was betrayed, took bread. [24] And giving thanks, broke, and said: Take ye, and eat: this is my body, which shall be delivered for you: this do for the commemoration of me.[25] In like manner also the chalice, after he had supped, saying: This chalice is the new testament in my blood: this do ye, as often as you shall drink, for the commemoration of me. [26] For as often as you shall eat this bread, and drink the chalice, you shall shew the death of the Lord, until he come. [27] Therefore whosoever shall eat this bread, or drink the chalice of the Lord unworthily, shall be guilty of the body and of the blood of the Lord. [28] But let a man prove himself: and so let him eat of that bread, and drink of the chalice. [29] For he that eateth and drinketh unworthily, eateth and drinketh judgment to himself, not discerning the body of the Lord. [30] Therefore are there many infirm and weak among you, and many sleep. 

St. John the Baptist been preaching at the River Jordan for everyone to repent for God is at hand. But only those who listened with their hearts understood what he meant and believed that truly the Messiah was now among them and in their midst. 

The proud Jews (the other sheep) didn't and cannot recognize the Messiah even when Jesus had already introduced Himself to them but instead they accused him of Blasphemy. 

They would only believe what their elders preached to them that the Messiah will come only as a King and will come down from Heaven with His armies of Angels. But the Messiah would only come as a humble man born in a manger. 

How many among us who would rather listen to false teachers than to listen to Jesus himself.

Jesus who is the only Begotten Son of the Father has been with us from our beginning and will always be with us through eternity or until the end of our earthly life. The question is, is our heart truly clean enough to share it with Him? Or is our heart full of filth that we have closed the door of our hearts to Him? If we choose not to know, love and serve him then we condemn ourselves to hell eternal. 


Today I shall begin my journey towards heaven on a horse whose eyes are only focused towards heaven and with him I shall ride and meet my Lord sometime at the end of my rainbow. 

In my journey I shall continue to pray for everyone's salvation and help others to find the truth just as I have found it. 

Anyone who wishes to contact me: 

Jesus gave us his teachings for free and this is one of the ways I can serve Him. It will cost you and me nothing but our time. Bear more fruits for only good trees bear good fruits. 

One Tuesday night (10/8/13) and the previous Friday night (10/04/13) I listened to a Bro. Sajed's (now an ex Muslim from Syria) sharing on how he found Jesus, the Son of God in his heart. He accepted Jesus as the one true God of the Trinity through the help of his young adult son (now serving in a Catholic Church) and his wife both of whom converted into Catholism. In of the Friday Vigil Adorations, I watched him pray to Jesus with his head touching the carpeted floor like he was still a muslim praying to God. 

It was a beautiful sight for he now knows he is following and worshipping the one true God - Jesus Christ (from his own account).

I am your brother-in-Christ, 


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